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- SHOWING FAITH
"I have faith in you. I trust you to
figure out what you need. I know that when it's important to you, you will know what to do."
- RESPECTING PRIVACY
"I respect your privacy and want you to know I'm available if you want to discuss this with me."
- EXPRESSING YOUR LIMITS
"I am not willing to go to school to bail you out. When your teacher calls, I'll hand the phone over to you or tell her she will need to discuss it with
you." (A respectful attitude and tone of voice is essential!)
- LISTEN WITHOUT FIXING OR JUDGING
"I would like to listen to what this means for you."
- CONTROLLING YOUR OWN BEHAVIOR
"I'm willing to take you to the library when we agree in advance on a convenient time, but I'm not willing to get involved at the last minute." Or "If you need my
help with your homework, please let me know in advance."
- LETTING GO OF THEIR DECISIONS
"I hope you'll go to college, but I'm not sure it is important to you."
- AGREEMENT, NOT ORDERS
"Let's sit down and see if we can work on a plan regarding homework that we both can live with."
- LOVING AND ENCOURAGING
I love you just the way you are and respect you to choose what is right for you."
- RESPECTFUL COMMUNICATION
I feel too upset to talk about this right now. Let's sit down in the morning and talk when I am not so emotional."
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